An 'I love America' bumper sticker doesn't make you a patriot. Sacrifice for others does.

As a military spouse, the word "patriot" is an intrinsic part of my daily life. On a military base, we start our days with reveille and end them with a retreat. In between are the matching red, white and blue outfits, military exercises and ceremonies, overseas deployments and desserts decorated with American flags.

Patriotism, to us, is the daily sacrifice of our own ideas for our nation’s ideals.

However, lately, hate, segregation and bullying have reinvented the patriot as someone who cares more about political affiliations and partisan beliefs than people.  

No political party has a lock on patriotism

A patriot, as defined in Merriam-Webster dictionary, is one who loves and supports their country. Patriotism isn't a term bestowed solely on service members, police officers or those with "I love America" bumper stickers. Patriotism also is not owned by any one political party or ideology. Patriot is a term conveyed to all who love and support their country and its citizens.  

In our nation's 248-year history, millions of service members have enlisted in America’s armed forces. Some enlisted because they loved our country and wanted to defend it, but others because of higher education benefits and employment stability. In other cases, entering the military could have been an individual's only path to becoming a productive member of society, and that too is OK. 

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Who do I think of when I hear the phrase "American patriot"? 

Civil rights leader Melanie L. Campbell, Native American influencer Charlie Amaya Scott, retired Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Mark Milley, Barack and Michelle Obama, Admiral Rachel L. Levine and comedian Jon Stewart, to name a few. 

They are the patriots who are preserving life, fighting for equality and advocating for less fortunate citizens.

But we don't hear enough about them. Why? Because our country's focus too often is not on the individuals uplifting our communities. Our focus is on those who bring the noise.

By noise, I mean those who promote divisive ideals, gaslight or misinform our country's citizens, pit Americans against one another and incite violence in our communities. The noise drowns out those fighting for equality, proposing solutions to our nation's most significant problems and sacrificing for the greater good of all our countrymen.  

Patriotism is about sacrifice for others

America's true patriots are the men and women who sacrifice much more than we can fathom for our rights, for community and for the very life of another human being.

Why is patriotism so imperative in our country? Our country can persevere only through the strength of a community. 

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Redefining patriotism is simple but not effortless. It will take all of us admonishing and advocating for equity and equality. It will require using our resources to uplift communities in need and standing up to division.

Redefining patriotism means allowing reformed felons to earn their complete place in society without restriction, affording them the American dream that they, too, are worthy of. It means offering a chance to build something from nothing, with a hand up, not a handout. It means giving children who have nothing the support of a community who believes in them. It means taking resources into impoverished neighborhoods and using them to educate, build and sustain something greater than what they once had. It means speaking up against racism, injustice and hate in any form.  

So, let's redefine patriotism. How? By committing acts of service that will advance underserved communities. By educating and strengthening communities that, in turn, will improve our nation.  

But before we can redefine patriotism, we must look inward. We must be honest with ourselves and ask: Was our former demonstration of patriotism a display of love for all of our countrymen and our country or did we withhold that love from people with different ideals, religions and abilities? Were we satisfied with ourselves as we ignored the pleas of those less fortunate? From children aging out of foster care into homelessness to innocent protesters being gunned down for proposing equality. Are we satisfied with the state of insecurity and chaos we live in? 

Let's lead by example and prove our true patriotism by accepting, teaching and exuding love, kindness and concern for our fellow citizens. It’s our opportunity to build, to redefine and to realign our families, our communities and our nation. Justice for all.

Marla Bautista is a military fellow columnist for USA TODAY Opinion.